


And All I Could Say Was Hello

by sunsetmog



Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic At The Disco
Genre: Inspired by a Movie, M/M, Not Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-23
Updated: 2009-09-23
Packaged: 2017-10-31 02:26:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetmog/pseuds/sunsetmog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ridiculous Not!fic AU based on <i>An Affair To Remember.</i></p>
<p>Summary gratuitously lifted from IMDB. <i>Handsome playboy <strike>Nicky Ferrante</strike> Spencer Smith and beautiful night club singer <strike>Terry McKay</strike> Brendon Urie have a romance while on a cruise from Europe to New York. Despite being engaged to other people, both agree to reunite at the top of the Empire State Building in six months. However, an unfortunate accident keeps <strike>Terry</strike> Brendon from the reunion, and <strike>Nicky</strike> Spencer fears that <strike>she</strike> he has married or does not love him anymore. Will he discover the truth behind <strike>her</strike> his absence and reunite with his one true love, or has fate and destiny passed them by?</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	And All I Could Say Was Hello

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](sunsetmog-fics.livejournal.com/45437.html) in September 2009.
> 
> Ridiculous Not!fic AU based on An Affair To Remember. Encouragement came from reni_days and harriet_vane. corvide and unaccompanied_g were kind enough to check it through to make sure it sounded American for me, thank you! :D

Brendon's on a cruise in the Mediterranean. He's kind of hopping around the ship being a little bored. He's engaged to be married, but his fiance, Patrick, is busy producing a new record for a big group and rather than have Brendon rattling around in their apartment in New York, Patrick's paid for him to spend a couple of weeks bumming around the Mediterranean on a cruise ship so he's not bored.

On the first afternoon on the ship, just after they've left Turkey, Brendon finds an iPod on the floor by the side of a deck chair. He's about to hand it in when he's stopped by a guy with the shiniest hair Brendon's ever seen. "That's mine," Spencer says, and Brendon recognizes him from the pages of the gossip magazines. 

Brendon starts to hand over the iPod, but then he jerks his hand back and says, "But how can I tell this is _your_ iPod? This could be anyone's iPod."

Spencer rolls his eyes and says "You can, uh, take it out of the case. There's an inscription."

Brendon takes it out and looks at it, and then he raises his eyebrows, because it's the first time he's ever seen an iPod inscribed with _that_ kind of message. 

"It was a gift," Spencer says, but Brendon knows the signature is not that of Spencer's fiancee. 

Spencer is always in the gossip magazines. He has been for a while. He's supposed to be a musician, but Brendon's never heard of him doing anything musical. Apparently there'd been a band that hadn't worked out, but Brendon thought that was just spin for the magazines. Spencer was mostly famous for hanging out with Pete Wentz; he'd started dating girls who had their names in the magazines, and then _he'd_ started having his name in the magazines for the girls he dated, and it was all very easy and it meant he'd never had to have a proper job. He'd gotten engaged recently, but his starlet girlfriend was filming something for a couple of months and Spencer had taken himself off to the Mediterranean to kill some time. 

He walks Brendon back to his cabin, and invites himself in. Brendon says yes because they're having a pretty cool conversation, but then Spencer makes a move on Brendon, and Brendon has to point out a picture of Patrick by his bed and say, "Uh, no." Spencer's _embarrassed_ , which Brendon can't help but laugh at, because _Spencer Smith_ is EMBARRASSED. Because BRENDON turned him down. Brendon's pretty sure Spencer can't get turned down that often, because he's really kind of sweet in his sarcastic, pink-cheeked embarrassment.

Still, when Spencer tries to turn it around and makes Brendon a dinner invitation, Brendon can't turn it down. He's _intrigued_ , plus he really wants to ask Spencer how he gets his hair so shiny. And Spencer is in all the magazines! Brendon can't turn down an invitation to see what he's like in the flesh. He thinks that even Patrick will be interested, but actually, maybe not because Spencer hangs with Pete Wentz, and Pete is the guy who broke Patrick's heart years ago. Patrick's heart has never been the same since. :((((

They have fun at dinner, and arrange to sit together the following evening too. That translates into spending every evening eating together in the dining room and Spencer can't remember talking to someone who's this interesting and genuine and hot and amazing, and Brendon can't either. 

Brendon's marrying his best friend. Patrick had seen Brendon singing at an open mic night after moving to New York with no money and no friends and no prospects. Patrick had just had his heart broken by Pete and he was all miserable :((((( and he threw himself into getting Brendon some proper singing lessons and into the studio as a backing musician at first. Patrick's a record producer and he's still broken hearted and he's Brendon's best friend, and so they decided to get married because they're happy being friends and living together. Patrick's sworn off men after Pete broke his heart, and Brendon's never been in love and doesn't think he ever will be, and music is both Patrick and Brendon's first love, so they know they'll be happy together. 

But Brendon's falling for Spencer! And Spencer's falling for Brendon! SHOCK HORROR. 

They make a stop at Dubrovnik and Spencer takes Brendon to meet a great aunt of his, who lives out there. She had worked at the American Embassy in Zagreb, and married someone she'd met there. They'd retired to Dubrovnik. When Spencer's out in the yard throwing sticks for Spencer's great aunt's dog, she explains to Brendon how good a drummer Spencer was, and how he was musical, and talented and everything. Brendon is surprised, because he never expected Spencer to actually have been in a band, or to be actually musical. Spencer's band had sunk without a trace, because they hadn't had Brendon as a frontman. 

They have a lovely afternoon there and afterwards, as they walk back down to the ship, Brendon says that this is the nicest day he's ever had. 

And Spencer agrees, and they look at each other and smile. :D

Then on the ship that night they have dinner and go outside as the sun sets and suddenly they're kissing, right there on deck. And then they go back to Brendon's cabin and make out a lot :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD but it is tempered by Brendon's terrible guilt about Patrick :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( The cruise is almost over, and Brendon decides that he's going to talk to Patrick about calling off the wedding, even if he never sees Spencer again. Patrick's his best friend and deserves better. 

Brendon and Spencer spend the last day hidden away in the champagne bar where no one will disturb them. They drink pink champagne and hold hands under the table and realize that they're both going to be flying back to New York from Rome on the same flight. They don't talk about their respective engagements, other than to say, "Will _she_ be meeting you?" and "Is he coming to pick you up?"

"I never thought -" Spencer says, abruptly. "I didn't think I could feel like this."

"Me neither," Brendon says, softly. He picks at the table edge. 

"I don't want this cruise to ever be over," Spencer admits. 

"Let's turn the boat around," Brendon suggests. "We could just keep on turning the boat around."

"Forever and ever," Spencer agrees. "Yeah."

"I wish we could," Brendon says, resting his head on Spencer's shoulder. 

-

The ship is docking for the last time, and all around them is hustle and bustle. Spencer says, "I can't be with you until I've done something with my life." 

Patrick is Brendon's best friend and he doesn't ever want to hurt him, but everything he's done has been because of Patrick's friendship and support. Never by himself. He nods. "I need to do something with my life, too. Without Patrick." 

"But afterwards?" Spencer says. "I want to support you. If you'll have me."

"I'll support _you_ ," Brendon says, with an awkward laugh. There are too many people around now, and Brendon can't lean in and press himself to Spencer's chest and kiss him over and over. 

"Yeah," Spencer says. "We'll support each other."

Brendon swallows. "How are we going to know?" 

Spencer bites his lip. "We should meet. In six months. That should be enough time."

"Okay," Brendon agrees, even though six months sounds like a lifetime. He doesn't know if it's going to be enough time to carve out a career for himself. "Where?"

Spencer glances out at the docks; there's a big poster advertising continental flights to America. The picture is of the New York skyline. "The top of the Empire State Building."

"Cheesy," Brendon says, swallowing a hysterical laugh. "Yeah. The top of the Empire State Building, six months from now. March 16th."

"Five p.m?"

"Done," Brendon says, and he doesn't want to say goodbye, but he has to. They have to go back to their cabins and take care of their baggage. Get back to their real lives. "So," he says. "This is goodbye?"

Spencer looks heartbroken. "I'll see you in six months," he says. 

"Yeah," Brendon says, and he bites his lip. He wants to kiss Spencer so much. 

Spencer's just staring at him, and then he grabs Brendon's elbow and tugs him into a dark corner. They have seconds before someone notices them, but as it is, Spencer crushes his mouth to Brendon's. "You're going to be proud of me," he says, fiercely. And then he's gone, just like that, vanished into the crowds. 

-

Patrick's waiting for Brendon at the airport in New York. Brendon's missed him such a lot, so he barrels into him and hides his face in the curve of Patrick's neck. 

"Missed you, missed you, missed you," Brendon says, and squeezes Patrick tight. 

"I missed you too," Patrick says, but he sounds a little weird, and kind of awkward. Brendon doesn't want to let go. "But I think we need to talk."

"Yeah," Brendon agrees, sadly. He takes Patrick's hand and holds on tight as they press their way through the throng of people in the airport, and into Patrick's waiting car. 

They break up with each other in Patrick's apartment, and Brendon cries and Patrick has to wipe his eyes too. Brendon holds on tight when Patrick hugs him, but when Patrick says, "This would never have worked, you and me," he doesn't disagree. 

"Is there, uh, someone else?" Brendon asks. 

Patrick shrugs. "Only the same guy there always was."

"Oh, Patrick," Brendon says, and Patrick looks rueful. 

"You think I'll ever get over him?"

Brendon nods. "Yeah," he says. "And you'll meet someone awesome, who loves you, too." There's a long pause, and Brendon says, "I met someone. On the cruise. I, uh, I think I fell in love."

Patrick tugs Brendon closer and wraps his arms around him. "I figured," he says. 

Brendon breathes in Patrick's scent. "His name's Spencer," Brendon says, "and he's got the the shiniest hair I've ever seen."

Patrick's laughter rumbles in his chest, and Brendon presses closer. 

Breaking up only serves to bring Brendon and Patrick closer, weirdly enough. Patrick comes with Brendon to look at apartments, and he vetoes all the truly horrible ones, even though Brendon says he shouldn't, because Brendon's supporting himself now, and he doesn't have much money. Patrick rolls his eyes a lot, but doesn't stop ruling out the ones with insurmountable pest problems or broken elevators. When Brendon finally signs on the dotted line, Patrick helps him move in, and they sit on the floor that first night and eat noodles out of the box. Patrick stays over and they sleep in the same bed. 

Finding a job is more difficult. Even if Brendon won't let him help, it's good that Patrick's around to offer advice. Brendon starts singing at the open mic nights again, and Patrick puts him in touch with a guy at a studio who offers good deals for recording time. It takes Brendon a couple of months to save up enough to book some time, and there's a waiting list and working in a bookstore to pay the bills kind of totally sucks, but he's counting down the days until he gets to meet Spencer again. 

Spencer isn't in the magazines so much anymore, at least not after he breaks off his engagement and disappears from the party scene. Brendon checks the magazines on his breaks at the bookstore, but apart from the odd photograph of him grabbing coffee or walking down the street with his phone attached to his ear, there's nothing. It's like the news has just dried up. 

Brendon wants to surprise Spencer with a demo CD, and Patrick offers to produce it for him. Brendon says no about a hundred times, until Patrick rolls his eyes and says, "Okay. I get it. You're doing this by yourself." He puts Brendon in touch with a friend of his, and Brendon works another month to pay him to produce his stuff. It's a close-run thing, and the CD isn't even ready until the day Brendon's supposed to be meeting Spencer. There's more studio time scheduled for a week later; his producer wants him to record a single. They've even booked session musicians; Brendon's going somewhere. There's a label sniffing around, but Brendon thinks that's mainly Patrick's doing.

He takes the subway across town to go and pick up the first printed demo copy, and then a cab downtown to the Empire State Building. He's going to be late and he hasn't got Spencer's telephone number. When they get stuck in traffic, Brendon bites at his lip and watches the seconds tick down to five o'clock. In the end, he decides to run the rest of the way; it's probably quicker than waiting for the traffic to clear. He runs down the street, looking up at the Empire State Building, imagining Spencer waiting there for him. He darts across the street, and there's the screech of tires and a horn; then, nothing. 

-

The thing that strikes Brendon most about the rehabilitation process is the _pain_. The pain, and the amount of time it takes to get halfway to learning to walk again. When the car had hit him, it had broken both his legs and his pelvis; the impact had been such that some of the bones in his legs had shattered. The surgeons had had to put pins in to repair the damage, and after weeks spent in traction, the physical therapy had been a long and painful process, one that was still going on. 

Patrick had insisted on paying for everything after he'd begged Brendon for permission to go and find Spencer, and explain to him why Brendon had never made it to their meeting. When Brendon had resolutely said _no_ , Patrick had taken care of his hospital bills and refused to take no for an answer to that, at least. When Brendon was out of hospital and able to look after himself, though, things changed. 

"No," Brendon says. "I need to do this on my own, because when I _do_ tell Spencer, I don't want to have to tell him that you're supporting me. I want to do this on my own. So I'm good enough for him. I need to support myself."

"You're being stupid," Patrick says, "you're my best friend, and you're hurt, and I can help."

"You're being stupid," Brendon says, "because you're my best friend. Shut up and let me do this my way, okay?"

Patrick sighs. 

-

They go to see a band; they're old friends of Patrick's from back in the day, and they're coming through town and playing a show. Patrick pulls in a favor and gets a couple of tickets; the show is seated and it's easy enough to figure it out so that Brendon's got a seat with plenty of leg room and enough space for him to get in and out with his crutches. 

The show's good, and at the end, they wait for everyone else to file out before Brendon tries to wrestle with his crutches. He's not long out of the wheelchair, he's still unsure of them and being caught in a throng of people is enough to throw him off balance. They wait for everyone to leave, and then Spencer walks by, with Pete. 

Spencer stops, and Brendon fumbles, and drops his iPod. 

Spencer very slowly bends down to pick it up, and he holds it out for Brendon to take. Brendon's heart is beating fast in his chest. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. 

"Hello," Spencer says, finally. 

"Hello," Brendon says, after a moment.

Spencer nods, and walks away. 

"All I could say was _hello_ ," Brendon says, miserably, and Patrick buries his nose in Brendon's hair, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He's shaking, and it's only afterwards that Brendon realizes that Patrick's just seen _Pete_. 

-

Brendon's music career is on hold until he's well enough to take it up again; in the meantime, to make some money, he's giving music lessons. He has a keyboard, and a guitar, and he teaches from his apartment most afternoons. He doesn't have to move around much, and in the mornings he can still see his physiotherapist. It's hard work, and not much fun, either, but Brendon keeps thinking about Spencer, and how he has to be well again to win him back. 

Patrick keeps calling him an idiot. "If this guy's worth anything at all," he says, "he's going to want you whether you're in a wheelchair or on crutches or doing the fucking funky chicken."

"He shouldn't have to support me," Brendon says, grimly. "I'm going to support myself, and _then_ go see him."

"Brendon," Patrick says, softly. "I'm not kidding. I think you're making a mistake."

Brendon looks down at his magazine and doesn't look up again until after Patrick's left. 

-

Brendon's woken up by the buzz of his intercom. He's passed out on the couch, which is horribly uncomfortable and probably not good for him, either, but he's been working extra hard these last couple of weeks, ever since he'd seen Pete and Spencer at the Cobra Starship show. Patrick had had Brendon's doorbell hooked up to his cellphone, so Brendon answers the phone without thinking, and buzzes Patrick in. 

Except it's not Patrick, it's _Spencer_ , and Brendon's trapped on the fucking couch with nowhere to hide. 

"Uh, hi," he manages. 

"Hi," Spencer says. "I brought you a gift."

"You didn't have to do that," Brendon says, wildly. It's almost Christmas, but that's not enough reason for Spencer to have bought him a gift. 

"I didn't," Spencer says. "My great aunt did. She asked me to make sure that you got it. So I'm here."

"Oh," Brendon says. He doesn't stand up. He can't, not without the crutches, and he'd vowed that the next time he saw Spencer he was going to fucking _walk_ to him. "That was nice of her. She's a wonderful lady."

"Yeah," Spencer says. He's pacing up and down by Brendon's TV. "I'm also here because I think I owe you an apology," he says. "For not showing up that day. At the Empire State Building."

"You, uh, didn't show up?"

"No," Spencer says, shaking his head. "And I kept thinking about how cold it must have been up there, in March, hanging around and waiting for me to show. Did you wait a long time?"

Brendon's heat's beating loudly in his chest. "A while," he says, awkwardly. 

"Till it closed? That must have been cold. In March. It was really windy that day."

"Yes," Brendon says, "it was."

"And everyone must have been staring at you," Spencer goes on. "Whispering behind their hands. And pointing. For hours. That must have been awful."

"Awful, yes," Brendon says, and his voice shakes. 

"You probably went back to your place and drank until you couldn't stand up, right?"

"Yeah," Brendon says. "That was one hell of a hangover."

"A month long hangover," Spencer agrees. "The gossip columnists must have had a field day."

Brendon swallows. "I guess," he says. "But I said to myself that Spencer must have had a really, really good reason for not showing up. Like, an amazing reason."

"Amazing, huh," Spencer says. 

"Yes," Brendon nods. "An amazing reason. Because there's no way he would have missed that if he could have been there. That's what I told myself."

Spencer's staring at all of the musical instruments, and at the schedule Brendon's pinned to the wall by the piano. It's a list of all the kids he teaches, and the times they come over. 

"So," Brendon says, to distract Spencer, because there's a list of rehabilitation exercises clipped underneath the schedule. "What have you been doing?"

"Since leaving you on the cruise ship?" 

Brendon winces. 

"I started playing music again," he says. "I was a session musician. Pete was pissed, because I wouldn't let him hook me up with friends of his. I wanted to do it all by myself."

Brendon's chest hurts. He doesn't love Spencer any less than he did last summer. Seeing him again _hurts_. "That's, uh, good," he says. 

"Yeah," Spencer says, sharply. "I was supporting myself, I was poor, it was totally awesome. All my friends were laughing at me, but I swore that it was going to be worth it when they met -" he shrugs his shoulders. "I was doing okay for myself, I guess. I was going to drum for some guy's first single," he says, "it was scheduled for about the same time I was supposed to come meet you. But he was in a real bad car accident, ended up in a wheelchair or something. Pretty nasty, I guess."

"Yeah," Brendon echoes, numbly. His fingers itch. 

Spencer's staring at the artwork on Brendon's wall; it was the same artwork Brendon had picked out for the cover of his demo CD. He'd picked out a band name rather than record under his own name, in case he'd ever found a band of his own. They'd never got around to sending his demo out to record companies because of his accident, just sending it to the session musicians who'd been coming in to work on his single. Spencer eyes are wide and bright. "You should show me around your apartment," he says, finally, and his voice is shaking. 

"Uh, it's pretty easy," Brendon says, urgently. He points. "Kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, closet. It's totally boring. This is the best room."

Spencer turns around in a circle, eyeing each door in turn, and then picks the bathroom. He opens the door, and Brendon closes his eyes, because Patrick had all kinds of modifications done after the accident, grab-rails and shower seats and even now, Brendon keeps everything on the lower shelves so he doesn't have to stretch. Spencer checks out the kitchen, and then the bedroom with it's physical therapy equipment and its wheelchair. When he comes back into the living room, his eyes are wet. "It was you," he says. 

Brendon can't move. "Yeah," he whispers.

"Brendon," Spencer's voice breaks, and then he drops to his knees by Brendon's chair and wraps his arms around Brendon's neck. 

"Don't cry," Brendon says, "I'm getting better. I'm walking again. Kind of. I will be, at least."

"You didn't tell me," Spencer says, "I would have been here, I would have dropped everything, fuck, Brendon, I _loved_ you. I would have done anything -"

Brendon rubs Spencer's back. "I didn't want to burden you," he says, his voice muffled against Spencer's coat. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to. I wanted you to have a choice."

"You're a fucking idiot," Spencer says, tightly, and he kisses Brendon's mouth. 

"I was looking up," Brendon says, "I was running to meet you, and I wasn't looking where I was going, and I ran out into the street. I just ran right into the path of a car."

Spencer's arms tighten around Brendon's shoulders. 

"It's okay," Brendon says, but he doesn't feel okay. "It's in the past."

"I didn't stop loving you," Spencer says. "I tried, I tried really hard, but I couldn't stop. I still love you."

"Yeah," Brendon manages, his cheeks wet. "Me too."

"Be with me," Spencer asks. "Please."

Brendon just nods, and meets Spencer in a sniffly kiss.

 

THE END.*

 

*Apart from how Patrick and Pete get back together, too.


End file.
